The Joys of Raising a Toddler

As many of you have recently heard me say, Piper is almost 3 years old, but she has just started her terrible twos. Well, today is the prime example of the things she has been doing lately.

For more than a year now, Piper has picked up her toys twice a day, once before lunch and then again before bed. We do this so that it's less overwhelming in the evening, since she makes such a big mess in there. She knows where her toys go (ie food in the play kitchen, books on the shelf etc) and usually puts everything away by herself, in the right places.

Around noon Piper syas to me, "Mommy, I'm hungry." I tell her to put away her toys then she can have lunch. At 12:30 her toys still aren't away and she again tells me that she's hungry. I tell her again to put away her toys and then it will be lunch time. I also warn her that if she doesn't start putting them away she's going on the naughty spot. Well at about 12:45 she was sitting in her Elmo chair holding a stuffed bunny, not putting away her toys. So on the naughty spot she goes. She proceeds to yell "UGH" at the top of her lungs the entire time she's there. She finishes her time on the naughty spot and I send her back in her playroom to pick up.

Five minutes later she comes in and says her toys are put away. So walk over to the door and check. She had taken everything that was on the floor and hid it inside the closest places. So, I take all the vegetables out of her toy bins, and all of her toys out of the kitchen's stove and microwave and set them on the floor. I tell her to put them in the right places and also to pick up her "Little People" which were still all over the place. A few minutes later she comes back and says she's done. I check again, not quite, she had put the toys back in the stove. So I pull them out again and as I turn to go back to the couch, I notice all the balls shoved on the side of her toybox. So I pull those out. As I'm doing that I find one that she had pulled apart, there were chunks missing from it. So I throw that away as she whines that she wants her ball. I explain to her that if she wanted her toys she would treat them nicely and not break them. Five minues later she says her toys are put away. This time the really are.

It's almost 2:00 now, I give her a bowl of pineapple to start her lunch. When she finishes that I give her a bowl of tomatoes, broccoli and green peppers. She loves veggies. At 3, it looks like she's barely touched the veggies. So, thinking that maybe the broccoli is too dry I go get her some ranch dressing to dip in. She's still taking forever to eat, I'm thinking maybe I gave her too much and she's full, so I ask her if she's done and she says no. So I tell her to stop playing and eat.

About 3:30 she's still eating, but she says she has to go poopy. So I tell her to go ahead and call me when she's done. She has been potty trained for almost a year now. She goes by herself and then calls us when she's done cause she has trouble wiping herself. She has been doing this many times a day, everyday for almost a year. Anyway, after a minute or so I call to her and ask her if she's done. She says no. A minute or so later I ask again. She says, "I'm trying to go poopy, I call you when I'm done." She makes a few noises like she's trying to go, so I go back to what I was doing thinking that maybe she is just having trouble going. Now she's taking an aweful long time, so I again ask her if she's done. She says, "I can't go." So I tell her to come back out. I hear nothing. Again I say, "Piper, if you can't go, come back out here." Wait a second, still hear nothing. So I get up and head to the bathroom. I'm halfway there and she can hear me coming and says, "Mommy no!" I turn the corner and this is what I see; my almost 3 year old standing between the toilet and the sink holding the soap in her hands. Upon closer examination, the soap is wet, so are her hands, face and legs. There is foam-ish suds on her cheeks. I grab the soap from her and throw it in the sink. I peek in the toilet and see that she didn't go, but the water is cloudy. She obviously was dipping the bar of soap in the potty. I wipe her hands and her face. She must have actually tried to go, cause her underwear are on the floor. I put them back on her. And as I rinse the soap I start explaining to her what she did wrong (she already knows though, you can tell by the look on her face). I start to set the soap back in the soap dish and notice the corner is gone. Looking closer, I see that there are tiny teeth marks. The next conversation goes like this;
Me: Piper, did you eat the soap?
Piper: No.
Me: Then why are there teeth marks on it?
Piper: Cause I ate it.
So I take her into the livingroom and put her on the naughty spot for lying, eating the soap and putting her hand in the potty (all things she has been told she shouldn't do, well I don't know that we've ever told her not to eat the soap, but we've told her not to touch it unless we're there). For the next 3 minutes, while she's on the naughty spot, she yells at the top of her lungs "Shut up." So, when the 3 minutes is up, I tell her why she was on there and ask her to appologize, she does. Then I tell her she's going to sit back down for 3 more minutes because she told Mommy to shut up.

Now remember, before the whole potty incident, she was eating lunch. So after the naughty spot I tell her to go finish her lunch. It's now 4:48. Her lunch still is not gone. In the last 48 minutes I have told her to use her fork, to sit up, and to just eat countless times. I've told her to stop trying to drink her dressing. I've told her to stop playing with her sippy cup (which is empty). I've told her to stop watching tv. I've told her to stop running around her table and to sit down and eat.

I'm starting to think that napping after lunch is not such a good idea. She just takes longer to eat on purpose, cause she knows the nap is coming and doesn't want to nap.

Anyone want a kid who's 2 going on 16? At least you won't ever have to wash her mouth out with soap, she'll do that herself!